A DAMNED NIGHT

moon has set

sleepless walks down the hallway

i’m trying to resist

the urge of disbelief.

the weather feels solid.

the only untouchable thing is me.

no sun, no moon 

only dim city lights over me.

awareness of constant dying

keeps me awake;

every dying star above

laughs at me.

in pity they say:

what an ugly mess,

a cropped field of humanity,

a rusty gathering of fleshful emotions.

i’m tired of knowing,

sensing all the good things

will end in disaster.

this beautiful chaos

is the only thing that embraces me

for who i am.

misery is the only one

who will hold me tight

till the end of time.

my drug is forgetting

living these hours

like there has never been a moon,

a sun, a life before.

convincing myself

the stars are bullies

kicking their light at me

until the night finally shuts off.